The Discovery of Sarcasm
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The Discovery of Sarcasm
Ah, sarcasm. Not the usual low-blow or scream-into-your-windhsield-after-being-cut-off — we’re talking about high art. The kind of insult so refined, it could wear a monocle, sip a martini, and leave someone emotionally winded for days. One where tone and emphasis successfully deliver a classy punch to the throat without having to get your hands dirty.
“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupid.”
— Unknown, but probably your spirit animal.
🕰️ Did You Fuckin' Know:
Before sarcasm was plastered on bumper stickers and t-shirts, it was the weapon of choice for philosophers, queens, and writers who couldn’t say “you suck” outright. We found sarcastic roots leading back to 800 BC and put together some deliciously snarky quotes from history:
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Socrates - the OG of passive aggression. He made people question their entire life’s purpose — with a smile.
“I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing.”
Translation: You’re a dumb ass, Greg. -
Oscar Wilde - the patron saint of snark:
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Translation: Your absence is preferred. -
Dorothy Parker - An actual human dagger disguised as a poet:
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
It’s sarcasm with a champagne flute — crisp, clever, and just a little toxic. Really leveling up.
✨ Why Sarcasm Is the Ultimate Luxury
You know what’s better than shouting into the void? Mailing a zinger that arrives in hand crafted packaging with a glitter trail that says: “I may be petty, but I’m classy about it.”
Here’s the thing: Our cards aren’t for everyone. They’re for the friend who’s fluent in side-eye. For the cousin who weaponizes wit. For the coworker who survived three Zoom layoffs and is now 90% iced coffee and repressed rage. If you fit anywhere on that scale, we are your jam.
💌 Our Sarcastic Humor Through History:
Through our vast research into sarcasm and its origins, we came up with some historical burns that we thought were fuckin' funny. Here's our take on what people might have said back in the day:
1. The Medieval "Get Bent" Scroll
Delivered by raven and sealed with disappointment.
“May thy crops fail just enough to learn humility, but not enough to perish entirely. But almost”
2. The Elizabethan Snub Note
“Thine presence, though loud, doth not echo wisdom.”
3. The Victorian Dinner Decline
“I regret to inform you I shall not attend your soiree, as I find your cabbage and conversation equally dreadful.”
🧠 Final Exam: Are You Fluent in Insult?
✔ Do you consider sarcasm a second language?
✔ Are you banned from giving wedding toasts?
✔ Does your inner monologue have a standing ovation?
If yes, you definitely belong here.
💌 Take the “Sarcasm Style” Quiz →
🥂 A Note From The Owner:
Thank you for taking the time to read our blog! We are trying to keep it short and sweet as we know you are busy as fuck. So with that being said, I have one thing to leave you with this little nugget: If kindness is currency, sarcasm is gold-plated credit. Spend it wisely.
Have Bitchin' Week Friends,
Sam